Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
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