Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.